Monday, November 30, 2009

I managed to speak to people today

You know things are bad when the biggest milestone in your life is that you phoned/took calls from the people in your life. For the past week, the scariest thing for me was that I didn't care about anything. Not my life or job or even about friends. I just wanted my old life, with Baby, back. And if I couldn't have that, I would rather sleep or work in my garden (see images of container garden - pics 1-3- I added to my regular garden - pics 4 and 5)

Obviously that plan would not work in the long-term, unless I planned to wreck the rest of my life. So this morning I phoned a good friend and cried on her shoulder. After listening to me, she gave me her head doctor's number, and I have an appointment for mid-December. She also booked me for an all-expenses paid spa treatment for Friday.

Then I emailed /called all the people I've been ignoring. By mid-day, two meetings and numerous phone calls later, I knew I was going to be able to cope with the day. I don't know what tomorrow, or the rest of the week will bring, but I reckon, if I can keep putting one foot in front of another, eventually I begin to run at my old pace. God knows I don't plan to wallow; it only makes things worse.

Meanwhile, Baby is doing great. Her stepfather took today off and spent the day with her and last I chatted with them, they were at a mall. Brave man, taking an 11-year old fashion-mad girl shopping!


po said...

Damaria you are being so strong, I just can't imagine the grief you are going through. I think seeing a head doctor is an excellent idea. I hope it helps. I hope each day becomes a little easier for you.

Tamara said...

It's no small thing to make contact with the world again when you're in a space where you're hurting so much. I'm glad you could talk things through with a friend. She sounds awesome.

Good post on what you can do for World AIDS Day.

And love your garden additions.

Strongs to you, Damaria. Sending hugs and prayers!

Trish Donmall said...

One thing I learned with grief and how to deal with it was not to plan a whole day. Just work on this hour, or 5 minutes, etc depending on what you feel strong enough to deal with at the time.

Making contact with the outside world is a VERY BIG step at this time. I'm glad you've got the support of good friends around you at this time.

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