Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Monday Was A Complete Write-Off

Sunday night/Monday were my worst days, healthwise. Ulcer was acting up big time ( my fault; I deviated from my normal diet plan on Sunday because I was travelling) and my stomach felt bloated and sore and I couldn't keep meals or even water down. So I lay in bed all of Monday, praying for death.

Death didn't come, but the meds kicked in and today I feel better except for the aftertaste from Rehydrate. I can live with foul aftertaste:-)

So instead of blogging about anything happening in my writing life, I'm going to lead you to some ongoing online discussions  I participated in:

Writer Lee Cahill  started a discussion on Breast Cancer Month on Facebook, but somehow the discussion grew to encompass sexual expression and the dynamic of women using their bodies to sell their careers ( e.g. Madonna, Shakira, Britney Spears) and the argument that these women may not be in control of the situation as much as they think and are being used as objects to ogle by men.

We also started talking about how sometimes society tries to force women to dress in a certain way, and talk in a certain way. If you don't comform, you are seen as inviting disrespect from men, maybe even rape.

We also wondered if encouraging men to think about the possibility of being rape victims would help them to appreciate women's perspective more, and that maybe, they will start seeing rape as a human rights issue, not a women's issue. This could go a  long way to improving how rape victims are treated by society.

Join the conversation

The latest interesting letter from my OneLove audience is from a woman who is married with 3 kids. Her husband was deported, and it took a year for him to be considered eligible to come back to their country. Meanwhile, the wife felt abandoned, and started a relationship with a man who is married (separated) and also has 3 kids. At this stage, being with the husband will be about duty, rather than love, she says. What do you think? Should she try to make the relationship with new partner work  or try to rediscover the feeling she used to have for her husband?


tiah said...

Your weekend sounds awful. I'm glad you are on the rebound.

In regards to women - I saw this comment on Jezebel recently and I kept it, because too often the burden of prevention is put on women. The use of fear in our society limits women's freedom.

Preventing Sexual Assault: Tips Guaranteed to Work!

1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.

2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!

3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!

4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.

5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!

6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.

7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.

8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.

9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!

10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone "by accident" you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.

Courtesy of: Feminist Philosophers

Laura said...

You know people often say to me "Just have a slice of cake/pizza/whatever"

They dont understand the after effects of that one slice!

Even if I ingest a small amount of flour/gluten I suffer - its tolerable but its still painful!

So I understand!!

With regard to the women - I am not sure. I dont see how she could have felt abandoned? Her husband surely didnt WANT to be deported?

But there is no point in remaining in a marriage you arent committed to!

po said...

Oh nooo I'm glad death did not stop for you ;) that sounds awful are you coeliac?

I definitely need to read the article about women using their bodies to sell themselves.

Tamara said...

Wahahaha at Tiah's comment. That's brilliant!

Hope you're better, Damaria.

Damaria Senne said...

I'm much better today, thanks Tamara.
@I'm wheat and dairy intolerant, which means having to be very careful what i eat.
@Laura- you're right; my friend is one of those people who doesn't get it and it's a lame excuse but I was tired and hungry and had limited options....
@ Tiah - can I repost it on shukumisa under Rape Prevention Category, with proper credit to Jezebel?

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