Tuesday, March 16, 2010

We Live On In The Memories Of Our Friends & Loved Ones

An 11-year old daughter of an old friend of mine from university got in touch with me today through Facebook and started chatting me up. We spent about an hour finding common ground, and talked about our dogs, the fact that she was in bed with a stomach bug and what I was doing in Facebook. She tried to teach me to use Facebook's IM better, including creating emicons.

It was a fun, if unexpected experience, because I knew the girl existed but we've never met her /spoken to her before. I haven't seen my friend for more than 15 years, though we are connected on Facebook. And yet to her daughter, I'm just one more aunt who can keep her company.

Anyhoo, it made me realise that we live on in the memories of our friends and loved ones, long after they no longer see us ( whether by circumstance or death). Clearly, my friend friend said some very good things about me to her children. Enough for her little girl to feel like she can approach me, chat with me, tell me about her 3 week old puppy and tease me. It gave me a warm fuzzy feeling on a very ordinary day.

I also made me realise that we are never alone. Someone out there may feel connected to you, and care about you, even if you don't know it.


Gaynor said...

Oh Damaria that was sweet. Thanks for sharing. You're right, we're not alone. Many's the time, specially when things go wrong like today the gate motor broke, leaving me with an open gate, feeling a bit vulnerable and a hectic deadline all going on at the same time. Then I remembered I recently met a guy who lives very close to me who is a handy man. So I rang him up, please, please please come and fix my gate ... he came, did a great job and was very reasonable and is coming back on Friday to do another couple of odd jobs about here - and I feel enriched by the whole experience. I'm doing something to make my working environment better (he's fixing up my window and putting a board up which will make my office a lot cooler) at good rates and having a friendly chat with a nearly neighbour at the same time. Back to the deadline!

Ecoecho said...

This is so true.

After I returned to SA in October, 2007, I found I had no friends here, and had lost my SA family when they dropped me like a hot brick upon the parting of the ways with my partner. I did not even know my next door neighbours, one from the last 10 yrs. I had one friend, a real one, in SA, but she lives 2 hours away and I cannot afford to go and see her.

I felt very cut off and alone at a time when I really needed people to be there, and it was frightening as I knew there was no one who would check if they did not hear from me,
But gradually, mostly through being on Facebook and more recently through an online business network, I have not felt so alone as I know there are people out there who care, or that I can talk to via skype, messenger, the network and Facebook.

I have got back in touch with people and made new friends around the world via this medium too. And none of this could have happened without the internet.

I don't feel quite so alone now, although I am often still frightened by the thought that none of my neighbours would know if I was alive, semi-alive or dead, because I am here in my office and home 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and it would be good to interface with 'real' people more.

Damaria Senne said...

@ecoecho - I'm glad that your internet friends help to keep you company. And excuse me if I'm being rude, but why are you confined in your home and office 24/7? Can you physically go out? I know sometimes it's not physical - I tend to like to cocoon in my house, doing my stuff, but I'm lucky to have friends and family who always make sure that I also go out, even if they have to drag me:-) And I also take client meetings even when a phone call/skype/email would do, so I have a good excuse to leave the house on a regular basis. And I had to promise my sister not to have pick 'n pay deliver groceries - they are less than a kilometre from my house and it only costs about R50 for them to deliver, I think.

po said...

What a cool thought. We should carry that round for when we are having really dark, bad times.

Copyright Notice

With the exception of entries specifically credited to individual authors, the content on this blog is copyrighted by Damaria Senne and may not be reprinted without permission.