When I was 19 years old, nearing the end of my third year at university, my childhood sweetheart confessed that he had made someone else pregnant. He said he was sorry; the affair was a big mistake; he loved me but was unfaithful because my school was over 350km away from home and he was lonely. He asked me to forgive him and promised never to be unfaithful again.
I think the thing that scared me silly was that I believed that he loved me as he said, whatever his definition of love was. And I believed he really was sorry that he hurt me. Given a chance, we could have swept the affair under a rug ( or attributed it to youthful stupidity, as many adults in both our families were happy to.) I would have graduated and we would marry and raise children and live as many South African couples do.
But, I chose to walk away (that too was called youthful stupidity on my part), because I believed that however he felt about me, he was going to continue to discretely have affairs. And I wouldn't be able to do anything about it, because his actions were being tacitly endorsed with" men always cheat on their partners, and if you find one who takes care of you and is discrete, be grateful." I believed, and still do, that I deserved better than that kind of dubious respect.
Anyhoo, I haven't thought about this piece of my history for a very long time ( and no, I wasn't scarred much by it.:-) Then today I started doing a poll on OneLove asking "Would You Marry Your Man If You Found Out That He Made Someone Else Pregnant?" and it struck me that I've been there, made the decision and have no regrets. So I'm asking you: what would you do? Please tell me by taking the poll? Also, what would it take to convince you to forgive and try to rebuild your relationship?
Other than thinking too much about history, I'm doing great. Writing, thinking, reading, chatting to Baby about my upcoming trip to visit her during the school holidays and planning my winter garden.