Friday, January 20, 2017

Struggle and Loss

Feeling blue about the water shortage issue here in Phokeng. Water was turned off for the past couple of days... and it happens intermittently. So I had a big group of people from the village come ask to draw water from my tank. Then we ran out, which made things difficult for us. I couldn't concentrate on work because I was stressing about the lack of water. Urgh!! Good thing I'm going to Joburg this coming weekend, to be based there for a while. I know it's running away, but I could do with the peace that comes from city living, where I can get on with the writing.

This week I received an email from a business contact to let me know that a former colleague died this past weekend. The former colleague and I were not close buddies. You know people you work with and like very much, but you are both so busy with work and your own lives that you never have the opportunity to nurture a relationship? That was me and Rajes. We were in different departments; had different lives and then I left and well, the hook up never happened. Now it never will.

 Her death got me thinking about how short life is and how I've wasted some of that time following life paths I felt I should, not necessarily where I wanted to go. I want to go peacefully, like my father, who said two days before he passed away from cancer, that he had lived his life to his satisfaction and done all he needed and wanted to. His passing didn't leave me with "what ifs."I felt that I had said all I needed to say to him; and he also felt that he'd said all he needed to say. Of course there are days when I want him back. He used to be my first reader and critique ( and my go to guy for all issues related to the English language). So for weeks and months after he passed away, I still picked up the phone to ask him a question when I got stuck on word selection, and then I would remember that he was no longer on the other side of the phone line.

My best wishes for Rajes' family and loved ones. My heart goes out to them for their loss. Now, I'd better get back to the writing....


MartieCoetser said...

Wishing you good luck and lots of success :)

Damaria Senne said...

Thank you Martie. A prosperous new year to you too.

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