Sometimes it strikes me that Baby has a seriously raw deal when it comes to her parent/guardian situation.
Tonight was one of those – we were watching an episode of “Missing” on SABC 2, where the character of Nicole reunites with her biological mother. Nicole grew up in the American foster care system, as her mother was serving jail time for killing her father.
Anyway, it was a very emotional moment, and the mother was hugging Nicole and saying how sorry she is. Then Baby started sobbing.
At first I thought it was just too much emotion generated by the movie, but when I tried to tease her out of it, she said she misses her biological mother.(They are very close.)
Unfortunately Baby’s mother lives in a separate city, so we only see her during school holidays and Baby’s birthday.
The situation is also unlikely to change in the medium term – we’ve just settled into our home, school, job and community, and we like it, so we’re unlikely to move any time soon. Baby’s biological mother is also establishing a solid life in another city, so she’s unlikely to move too.
I held her and let her cry until she fell asleep. What could I say? She will always be torn between us. Despite the fact that she loves me and regards me as her mother, she has another mother and she loves her too.
The situation made me think of the kids of divorced parents who share custody and how rough it must be for them. No matter how much fun the child is having with one parent, she always misses the other.
And one of the things the child has to come to terms with is the fact that she will never spend prolonged periods of time with both loved ones. I suspect it makes some of the enjoyable times bitter-sweet.