Wednesday, September 22, 2010

He's Out!

A representative of Tshwaranang Legal Advocacy Centre, one of my clients was on 3Talk yesterday ( on SABC3) as an expert guest, talking about stalking, its consequences and what the victim can do to get help, and of course, the discussion led to the Protection from Harassment Bill. So yay us!

But this morning was so full of drama my stomach still hurts. I found out my friend is out on bail ( he came over to see me), and my stomach started churning as soon as I saw him. I thought my ulcer was going to start bleeding or I would throw up I was so upset. He tried to talk to me about what he did, to explain himself, and I was not ready to hear it, so he had to leave.

Right now I feel like I'm never going to be ready to hear his explanation. I'm so angry with him! The whole mess never had to happen. At some stage, he could have stopped the fight and used some common sense.

I'm also angry that he has come back to the same neighbourhood where the victim's widow lives. How is she supposed to feel seeing her husband's killer outside, resuming his normal life? I'm not even friendly with the woman, but right now I feel for her.

"I want my old life back," I said to my helper after he left. "I want my quiet, boring life where there was no drama and my most pressing decision was whether to cheat on my wheat-free diet and eat a slice of bread."


po said...

Oh Damaria. I understand what you mean about not wanting drama in your life. The thing is, we like to live quietly and make life choices that avoid drama but we can't control what the people close to us do. It seems that my family is addicted to drama and I have no control over my life because as peaceful as I try to be I have to live through their drama. I would love to go far far away sometimes where nobody knows me.

damaria senne said...

I understand exactly what you mean. Sometimes I just want to run and just keep running. But that too, is drama in itself:-)

tiah said...

I feel for you.

cat said...

Hi Damaria, just found your blog today although I have seen you commenting etc. elsewhere. My, what a terrible situation. His spoor wife - I bet she gets very little sympathy. And the family of his victim.
I feel fo you - sometimes we just do not have the energy for what life throws at us.

damaria senne said...

@tia - thanks.
@cat- thanks for coming by. I've also seen you comment elsewhere:-)
Interestingly, the widow was willing to not paint my friend's wife guilty-by-association, and treated her very graciously. But I'm assuming that's when she thought the culprit would stay in jail. Now that he's out, it makes the whole situation messy for both women.

Tamara said...

Hectic, Damaria. This guy wants to explain?! How can you explain or justify the murder of a friend? Eish.

Damaria Senne said...

@tamara - and that's the point he's missing. that yu can't explain this away.

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