Innocent Bystanders Are Just As Guilty

For the past couple of days I've been following the story of a Limpopo school where teachers are accused of making 57 girls in their school pregnant. The youngest pregnant girl is said to be 13.

And while the story has now come out and the education department is making noises about disciplinary action ( which I hope will involve charging these teachers with statutory rape), I can't help but wonder how it was possible that teachers could make 57 students pregnant. I don't mean the mechanics of it - obviously I know about the birds and the bees.

I mean, one teacher abusing one girl can possibly be kept a secret. Maybe two teachers abusing 3 girls could even be a secret. But how do the numbers grow so high that 57 girls fall pregnant before action is taken?

Who knew that the girls were being abused? Other students? Other teachers not directly involved in the abuse? Parents of the girls who knew something was not right with their children? Community-members who didn't want to interfere? Why didn't they tell someone with greater authority, expose this abuse?

For me, the most horrifying thing is that this abuse went on for so long, on such a large scale, without someone reporting the crime to the proper authorities.

Money Flows To The Writer

A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine told me about her friend who had written a novel and was looking for a publisher. Would I know of editors the friend could send her manuscript to, she asked.

I hadn't read the novel ( and I didn't want to, cos I don't want to be sued in future by someone claiming that a story I wrote is based on characters he/she created), but my friend gave me a brief synopsis of the themes covered in the novel. Based on that, I gave my friend contact details of a few publishers who work within those genres.

This morning my friend forwarded a letter her friend received. It was from a well-known international vanity publisher ( clearly the writer did her own research to find more publishers) and the editorial consultant was blathering on about how she has been assigned to help the novel writer make her masterpiece ready for publication. My friend wanted to know if I know anything about this publishing house.

My response was,"tell Forrest Gump to RUUUUUN!"

Okay.I also did explain why she should not accept the deal they were offering her.

I understand vanity publishing is an integral part of the publishing industry today. Some would even say a necessary part. And I'm very definitely pro self-publishing if and when the manuscript calls for it ( I'm planning to publish a children's book launching 1st September, so this is not just talk). That said, I get very angry when people manipulate the truth. Right from the beginning, a newbie author should be told that the publisher is a vanity publisher; that he/she will be expected to put upfront money to get the book published. She should also know the exact figure this will cost, and what the publisher will do to market and promote the book, if anything.

Don't hide the real cost of publishing under the too sweet "your story is soo wonderful and I'm so excited to be appointed to help get your manuscript ready for publication!" For that matter, make sure the new author understands that you're simply going to package the book for them; they still have to launch the publication and promote it.

I also believe that, when it comes to the business of writing and publishing, money should flow to the writer ( in any business deal that involves their works). The writer has done the work (writing) and should now benefit from it once the publisher's role kicks in.

And if the writer adds the role of publisher to her credentials, she should know about it, not have it happen accidently while she gets her manuscript ready for publication.

Rules For Online Dialogue

A few incidents these past couple of  days have made me think very closely about the rules I employ when I engage in dialogue online, be it on my blog, through twitter, Facebook or through my articles.

One was Tiah and Judy's response to my article yesterday. The second was a status update from a friend who's very unhappy in her job and said so. She also stated that she bunked work the previous day because she couldn't face going to the office, where her manager constantly undermines her.

Some of her (our) friends offered her words of encouragement, others empathised. Deep down, I was simply horrified because my friend was inadvertently trashing her employer in a public space while she sought sympathy for her own troubles. And to admit in a public space that you bunked work?

The third incident happened this morning. A business associate I respect very highly, and who I know has a strong respect for women had a nude pictures of a woman on his Facebook profile. (he had been tagged; it was not his upload). The note accompanying the pics gave the naked woman's name and surname, and her cell number. It said that the naked woman charges R500 for 48 hours; thus branding her a prostitute.

You might remember that Tshwaranang Legal Advocacy Centre is one of my clients and one of the issues that they and their partners are lobbying on is the Protection From Harassment Bill ( and the strengthening of provisions that deal with technology). I wrote to my client, asking for guidance and asking if there is anything they can do to intervene.

Anyhoo, these incidents made me think about some of the rules that we set out for ourselves when we comunicate online.

So what are your rules for online dialogue? What is non-negotiable? What would you accomodate, under certain circumstances?

Your Online Dialogue Has A Very Long Lifespan

Today I received an email from someone I'd never heard of, asking me to help her get connected with another person I'd also never heard of. My first response was to wonder if my blog had become a platform to find missing persons while I was not looking ( I do get these kinds of requests often enough:-). And even if it had, was I even inclined to lookfor this person?

Turns out the person being searched for was someone I interviewed more than a year ago. The searcher Googled the name of her friend, found my article and traced me back  to my email address.

I had some contact details and people we knew in common I could email to ask. So I was able to forward the searcher's request to the relevant people.

I hope the two friends, who apparently went to school together, are reunited and can strengthen their friendship all over again. It's also nice to know that long after you've published a piece, maybe even forgotten about it, it can still have a positive impact on people.

Tell Your Story On "My First Time"

My First Time is running low on stories and may have to end in November. All we need are five stories a week to keep the project running. If you have a story, or know someone who does, please send it in.

It can be on any of the themes we’ve already written on, or any first time in your life that was significant for you. Your story can be long or short, and you can send in the pictures you like or I can put some up for you.

Your story has the power to make someone’s day, or make them realise someone else is feeling what they’re feeling. There are over 100 stories so far, and I’d love to receive yours and share it with everyone.

About My First Time

As women, we are told how to feel, how to look and how to act every day by a variety of sources, and when we don’t feel the ‘right’ way we place blame on ourselves rather than on the outside world. Every woman is taught to be self-critical – to wonder why she’s herself and not someone better, thinner, taller, brighter, sportier, healthier, more generous, more driven. This behaviour pattern can form a cycle where we look further and further inside of ourselves for the source of the problem, the reason that we can’t quite ‘make it’ and so we end up with our hearts and heads in crisis.


One of the most valuable things that we can do to get ourselves out of this deep hole of market-supported self-loathing is to spend time with a girl friend that has been there, can empathise and would do anything to make you feel better. Women, more than men, are given the space to truly let rip with their friends. We can reveal our darkest, dirtiest secrets, discuss our hopes, fears and dreams and share experiences that build us up in a way that the best diet or the most money can never do.

Learn more about My First Time

And if possible, please blog about this call for stories?  Thanks.

Keeping Butt In Chair

I uploaded a couple of 2010 Christmas photos to my Facebook album. It was weird, seeing my family from an outsider's perspective through the pictures. We sorta looked happy; we were all glad to be able to get together, as this doesn't happen often.

I haven't been as productive as I would have liked this morning. I'm editing a case study, and thankfully, the client recognised from the beginning that it was not well-written and could need a major overhaul. So I didn't feel like I was insulting them or ambulance chasing when I emailed them my comments.

I also have a copy deadline tomorrow, so I really need to keep my butt on the chair and write. Do you ever feel like cleaning a house and washing dishes could become a very attractive job when you're supposed to sit down and write? I know the words will come once I get over myself, but meanwhile, rinsing the breakfast dishes, making another mug of tea, blogging, replying to emails, commenting on posts... and all other unnecessary tasks .....have suddenly become pressing duties. Argggg!

It's A New Week!

The interview with the researcher on Friday went very well. It was nice to see the work we do from an outsider's perspective; reassuring for me to be remineded of what my client is doing and why the organisation is doing it. It's easy to get lost in the details and conversations with interested parties make you take a step back and see the big picture.

Got home and just decided to bury myself in writing. It was not as productive as I would have liked, but at least I'm starting to feel like I do have a brain and two cells occassionall rub together to produce a creative thought.

This week I'm going to focus on generating lots of words for the various projects I'm working on.

Experimenting with images as blog background

So what do you think of this new design? Took me about 15 minutes to do (most of it spent choosing an image and then deciding where to put it)  and I think it worked very well, so I'm going to use the same principles on some client sites.

BTW, the sunset image is of my suburb, was taken by Gillon McClintock, a Kensington photographer. and used courtesy of "I Love Kensington" residents association. You can contact Gillion at www.processedlemon.co.za if you want to use his services or buy his stock photography.

Respecting People's Constitutional Rights

So I ended up with a rant for today's post. It was not intentional, and may offend some of you. But I don't want to self-censor.

Part of my work online involves taking part in discussions which relate to my clients' causes or issues. That can be a joy, when I chat with people who are happy to agree to disagree with me if we can't find common ground, and a bad disappointment when comments actually consist of name-calling or attempts to strip away people's constitutional rights. Online discussionss this morning made me feel like I was getting too much of the latter.

The issue arose out of SPUD ( the movie) and Judge Edwin Cameron's comment that a comment made by one of the main characters ( that rogering could set lesbians to rights) could contribute to homophobia in our society.  (Luleki Sizwe, an advocacy organisation in Cape Town, can give you more details about how and why lesbians in South Africa are vulnerable to rape where the attacker claims to be trying to cure them)

The author of  Spud wrote an open letter to apologise the judge and explain his character's position. However, it was all said in public ( in the media) so of course we all wanted to comment too.

Comments that I read ranged from:

1. It was artistic licence and stop being so sensitive.
I asked a couple of Black people in the list if they were now comfortable with their parents being called Kaffirs to their faces in the name of artistic licence. Would you watch a TV drama (period piece) where one of the major characters was called kaffir? Do you think any one of our stations would air it?  And if not, why not, artistic licence being equal?

I believe that it's much too easy to dismiss derogatory words as meaningless  unless they bite you personally. We South Africans still shrink when we hear the kaffir word - I wonder what makes us think that calling gay people  names is less damaging and why one constitutional right is more important than another?

And in case you're wondering, a joke is funny when the subject of the joke is also laughing. If he/she isn't laughing with you, you are poking fun at them. And saying they're being too sensitive is no defence either.

2. Gay people are sinners/an abomination
Frankly, in my book, that is not the issue at  hand. Our constitution is not based on any one paricular religion and it guarantees us  all certain rights, including freedom of religion and sexual orientation. That means that by the law of this land, you can't pick on someone because they do something that's against your religion.

I also find it interesting that we Christians ( yes, I am among the believers) choose to elevate one sin over another. Being gay is an abomination worthy of condemning the subject whenever the opportunity arises. Being judgemental, lying, being proud, gluttony, laziness... nah, we gloss over those ones.

I also find it interesting that people who are saved by the Grace of God ( that means, none of us had to do anything to deserve God's mercy; Ephesians 2: 6, I think) are eager to condemn others of a sin Christ never ever mentioned in the New Testament. Ever!

If we are under a new covenant with God, which was sealed by the blood of Jesus Christ, why are we so eager to dig old testament rules to bludgeon other people with them?

3. Love the sinner, hate the sin

Sounds real conciliatory, doesn't it? Except for the fact that you are still sitting in judgement of others, and holding up one type of what is sin in your religion over another person.And if  I remember well, Jesus Christ said Love you neighbour as you love yourself. Does the love the sinner, hate the sin phrase really qualify as the kind of love He was talking about?


4. Judge Edwin Cameron's life

Yeah, a few did comment on what they called his lifestyle ( because he's gay) and there was even a sly remark implying that he probably deserved to get HIV (as if HIV is a gay disease or affects only promiscuous people).

My first impulse was to ask who in their right mind would choose being gay as a lifestyle? Who would choose to be reviled, have whole church sermons be devoted to calling them abominations, have to hide even from family and friends and be in danger of being bashed. But the nature vs nurture argument is totally irrelevent in South Africa, because even if gay people were crazy enough to choose such a difficult path, the constitution still protects their right not to be discriminated against due to their sexual orientation.

So unless we change the constitution, it doesn't matter why they are gay.Just as some White South Africans do mind sharing the country with Black South Africans ( and some Black South Africans mind sharing with White people), we all have to get over ourselves  and our aversion to other people's differentness and build a country.

Books & Messed Up Time Zones

I may have landed a client that's launching a book at the beginning of February. If everything comes together, I'll give you the details of the book in advance, as I'd be arranging a virtual book tour for the author. The book is non-fiction, and I think would be very useful for business executives and owners. So yeah! I'd suggest some of you buy the book. Especially those of you who've admitted (to me) that you're not so good at marketing yourself and your business.

Thought I had a morning meeting with a researcher (working on a thesis) in Braamfontein. She wanted to talk about some Shukumisa-related issues.But the poor chica had her time zones mixed up. I think her online calendar clock was set for a South East Asia time zone? I couldn't get angry with her for not showing up at the meeting she confirmed. I dealt with the same problem a few times when I first started handling some international clients. So we rescheduled for later this week.

Got home and just hunkered down to write. I need to be generating a whole lota copy and am late with some things ( self-imposed deadlines). But it feels good to feel my brain working again.

So how are you?

My Gmail Account Was Hacked

I've always thought I was too boring for anyone to want to hack my web accounts. Turns out I was wrong - someone hacked into my gmail account and used it to send sales letters to my database. Thankfully, the people who hacked me write so badly that no one actually believed that the email could possibly come from me.

A few sent me short notes to warn me that I'd been hacked. So guys, thank you for your patience with the SPAM I inadvertently sent you, and for telling me of the problem. And my apologies to all my clients who received the badly written email.

I have now changed  my log in details, and hopefully the people who did this thing have moved along. In case you;re wondering, no I'm not angry with the hackers. That would be a waste of emotion on people who don't really matter in the great scheme of things. Sure they inconvenienced me for a day, but I doubt they'll make a single cent from the venture. As I said, people in my database didn't believe that I could produce such a badly written sales letter, and there is no mystery as to what my company sells, and it ain't what the letter was hawking :-). And I doubt if the hackers would even bother to learn from the experience even if I ranted and raved about what they did, so why waste my breath?

So. What do you think of hackers who hijack people's web acounts and use them for their own ends? Are they a worrying security threat, or are they just a nuisance factor?

P.S. I've just posted a video onthe Shukumisa web site where Justice Minister Jeff Radebe talks about corrective rape (corrective rape is when a lesbian woman is raped by a man who claims that the act will cure her of her sexual orientation). Check it out  and if you have 3 minutes and leave a comment.

Beating The Post-Holiday Blues

I'm struggling a bit to get my head out of holiday/sleep mode, to actually start being productive. But that's normal post-holiday blues for me... my brain will catch up soon enough.

Spent most of the morning catching up with emails and going through my PC to find works I completed but couldn’t find homes for in 2010. I’m going to read through them, brush them up where required and send them out to potential publishers. That will help with my goal to get a lot of my works published in 2011. It will also keep me busy until the rest of my brain gets in gear.

 So, how are you doing? What are you doing to beat the post holiday blues?

New Releases Planned For 2011 So Far

It's now official - the big non-fiction book will be launched on the 9 June 2011.I'm still not sure what I can say or cannot say about the contents of the book, so I'll check with my publisher and maybe tell you more then. I'll also  find out if they will set up a pre-ordering facility and maybe some of y'all can buy a copy or two before the launch?

Heh! No presssure on you there! My publisher sounds like he already has an aggressive marketing plan in place, and my marketing role there is small and I think, optional. I still plan to work hard to promote the book, because I think young people visiting South Africa for the first time will need it. But, it sounds like the publisher plans to do more than just include it in their catalogue.

Children's book in the works too

I'm also planning to publish an illustrated children's book, with the launch date set for Thursday 1 September 2011. Basically, the story is about tree planting, which is why I'm choosing Arbour Month to launch  the book.

I've already written and edited the book, and just need to give it to professional editors to work on it and then assign an illustrator. I don't have the resources to pay an illustrator upfront, so I'll mostly look for someone willing to take royalties against sales.

I expect it's going to be a lot of hard work ( and a steep learning curve) to do this title, because it will be the first book I self-publish through my new company Damaria Senne Media (which I've already registered). But it's not my first published children's book, so I will have some credentials to leverage this on.


I also have some works collecting dust in my laptop, which I'm going to go through and evaluate, with the view of submitting them for publication or self-publishing them as epubs.

Huh! We'll see how that works out.

My Festive Season Adventures

I'm glad to be back!

The planned holiday of sloth in Durban didn’t happen. But what happened was even better. I attended a big family celebration.

Went on a road trip, stopped in Steynsburg to visit some friends and toured a couple of small towns in the Free State and the Eastern Cape.

Founded in 1872, Steynsburg has about 400 plus households. It's situated deep in the sheep farming territory of the Eastern Cape’s Karoo and nestled in a ring of mountains and koppies.

I also found my dream house ( Ahem. Sorry Christelle, I know it's a renovating project, not a house:-). It's a 6-8 bedroom, 2 bath colonial on a big stand, with outbuildings. Everything but the basic structure has been ripped out, so it would take a year or so to restore it and make it habitable. The only issue is money to buy it, because quite frankly, the house would be a luxury (country home). I'm not ready or able or willing to live in the middle of nowhere, no matter how beautiful the place is or ideal.  But it would be a wonderful place to go to when I'm writing on  a big project and don't want interruptions. And friends would always be welcome to visit, of course, even if I'm not there. But that's just a dream.

Went to the beach in Port Elizabeth and enjoyed big huge delicious platters at 34 degrees South and Barney’s. If you're ever in PE and want a nice classy but informal place to eat, go to 34  degrees South. The food and service were fabulous, even though they were very busy.

Barney's is a pub, so the atmosphere is more loud and festive. And the food! I couldn't believe that their portions were for real, they were so big. Delicious too. Definitely a place to go when you're really in the mood to eat well.

Waay too much as a meal for 2.  But we took leftovers to much on later...

We spent time at the beach and drew a big heart on the ground and wrote the name of the guy one of my friends is dating inside it, then emailed him the picture. It was such a silly teenaged thing to do, but we had fun and people on the beach thought we were crazy dancing on the beach trying to wipe out the evidence once the pic was taken. But they also smiled too. And no, I'm not posting the pic here. Let's let the poor guy have some privacy!

Went to the fun fair. I never did manage to meet the talking head ( without a body), though we wanted to. But I had a blast taking pics of the girls in go carts crashing into each other.

Early evening, before the fun and scary stuff began at the fair

Attended a rock concert. As one of my friends said, Wonderboom was " too cool for school." But Evolva, the headlining band, was great and I got onto the dance floor a time or two.

Hadn't been to a rock concert in a long while and had loads of fun jumping around and head banging etc

After a couple of days, we drove back to Joburg, where I enjoyed the full week of sloth I planned. In my house.I initally planned to use the week to catch up with work, but I don't regret just lounging around and cabbaging. The rest will prepare me very well for 2011 and all it brings.

Many thanks to Pontsho, Boitshoko, Christelle, Ilva, Greta, Angela, John and Dave for the wonderful holiday.

And a special thanks to Ben, Obakeng,  Neo and Gillian – I know you’d have made the time special too, if I’d managed to get to Durban.

So, what did you do over the holidays? I'm going to start visiting your blogs to catch up, but please leave comments too to tell me what you've been up to.

I'm Still Not Comfortable Working In The Park

In August 2006 I wrote about how I was not comfortable working taking my laptop to the park and writing there. Firstly, I'd feel very exposed. As if I have a sign that screams: "MUG ME!"

Secondly, I've discoevered that I like working from my office. Sometimes I go somewhere else for a change of pace, but I found I like enclosed spaces more than the outdoors. For example, I'm OK working on my laptop at the airport while I wait for my plane, or in someone else's reception if the person I'm meeting is late.

Anyhoo, here's another blast from the past entitled: "The Legend of the Mobile Worker."

Question: Are you comfortable writing/blogging outdoors? Are you more comfortable writing on your notebook rather than on an electronic devise? Does it feel like you're working when you're outdoors, or is more like note-taking and preparation work?