Making A Dent

Made a dent on my long To Do list, especially in relation to the home/life issues. Today I had a plumber come in and install a new toilet set, spent way too much time on the phone sorting out some details on my medical aid and provident fund accounts and filled in forms and faxed them to my providers, replenished stationery for my office, paid bills, tried to chase down people who owe me money. Basically, I took care of a lot of details that make life and business easier, but don't earn me a cent.

Spent time with Baby on the phone. Overall, she's doing very well. She auditioned to sing in the band at church, and was accepted. She's also learning toplay the guitar. She played for me on the phone[reminder: she now lives in Durbs with her biological mother], and it actually sounded like music.


The only fly in the ointment is that yesterday she saw a car accident happen in the morning on her way to school. She was crossing the street, and a maxi bus taxi full of passengers lost control, went very closely past her ( but missed), and overturned after hitting a robot.

Passengers were injured; and of course, like a deer caught in the headlights, she couldn't drag herself away. Eventually phoned her parents, who encouraged her to go to school to wait for them, and then they phoned me.

She was a bit shaken. We all kept worrying about what could have been, especially so soon after removing her cast for the broken leg.

A Reader Letter Disturbed Me On So Many Levels!

Had a reader letter on OneLove web site that disturbed me on so many levels it's not funny. He says:

I am a boy of 15 years of age, and am here just looking for sugar mommy or sugar daddy who can take care of me, i live in Ghana with my elder brother, so if u really want me u can send me a message on my yahoo ID ( ID deleted by me).

Thanks and hope to hear from u now…. bye.

So here are my issues:

1. What circumstances would force a child decide that he's willing to trade sex with an older partner for material gain?
2. The consequences of sugar daddy/sugar mommy relationships on young people ( including the fact that the younger partner usually does not have the power to negotiate using a condom)
3. The age of consent for sex in South Africa is 16. So this boy is not even old enough ( legally) to be considered to be giving conset.
4. He gave out his Yahoo profile, making him an easy target for every paedophile who doesn't mind the issues I raised above to contact him.
5. Chances are, OneLove was not the only web site where he put his message. Which means, even if OneLove readers donot respond, someone else still has the opportunity to do so.

My opinion matters?

I don't think it does in the great scheme of things. And I'm always surprised, even chuffed, when people approach me and imply that I am influential as a writer/blogger or journalist. Huh! I'm not so sure about that, but I won't argue too much, just in case whatever gloss they see on me actually rubs on and stays.

Had a call from a representative of a well-known brand product asking me to host something that sounds like a focus group ( but more informal) where users would discuss the product. I have nothing against the product, though I don't use it. But one of my family members needs it, and occassionally buys it.

Knowing how stressed I can get when I plan to entertain, I had to turn down the offer to host, but I will attend. If nothing else, I will learn more about the product, make some new friends and establish a tenuous contact with the company. I'll tell you more about them if I end up blogging about the meeting.

The conversation inspired me to approach Mica Hardware, my favourite hardware store, and suggest that I blog about their gardening products.

It would be one of the most enjoyable, and easiest, blogging gigs I could line up because:
a) I already love gardening
b) I already use some of their products and would love to use more.
c) I love chatting and writing about gardening, and already talk about it here.
d) Setting up a blog on the issue, to link with their web site, would be easy.

BUT, it would be a professional relationship ( i.e. money and/ goods would change hands) and I'm not a horticulturist, or see myself as an expert in any way.

So I don't know if they could be convinced that they want a veg gardening blog or even if they did, if I 'd offer them value.

But it's good that the idea is out there. Also sent an email to a foundation that has expressed interest in food security, to pitch a project on gardening with them. Huh!

How Long Is Your "TO DO" List?

Using my Google Calendar, I made a list of all the things I want to /need to do, whether they were work, home or life related.

It was long. 3-pages LOOONG, to be exact.I'm not talking about big projects - just small things like needing to call a plumber to fix a couple of leaking taps, cleaning out the braai stand and taking it back to my friend who lent it to me formy birthday, updating sites daily, writing up a couple of articles that I have already done research for and meeting up with friends I haven't seen in a while.

I feel better having a better idea of what needs to get done. But right this minute, I wish my to do list was much shorter:-)

P.S. I've just remembered that I also have a couple of books I need to read and review. Going to add to the list...

The Ideas Factory Is Open

One of the signs that I'm doing OK is that I start to have more ideas for articles, stories, poems, books, evenTV, radio and web sites than I can ever implement in a year.

It's wonderful and exciting and scary and frustrating because I have to allocate time every day basically to dump the ideas onto paper, so my brain is free to focus on the details of the projects I'm currently working on.

And there's only 24 hours in a day; therefore, not enough timeto actually sift through the chaff to find the golden ideas, and develop every seemingly good idea into something usable. And by the time I actually get tired and no longer generate any good ideas, I actually feel sour about my own creativity and every idea that seemed brilliant and inspired before then seems boring and overdone. So they don'tget implemented then either, because my judgement is suspect:-)

Anyhoo, right now I'm sorta spewing ideas left, right and centre. A friend of mine asked me if I ever worry that people would steal my ideas and develop them. Quite frankly, I wish they would, because during these times, there seems to be so many and it would be nice to see some of them become entertaining/educational products, even if i'm not the only one who made them.

And it would be such a relief to dump the implementation aspect onto someone else! Someone else to worry about whether the idea has commercial value; someone to worry about getting the money and time too see it through. Sounds good to me:-)

So this morning was hectic - I still have a lot of contracted writing to do. And I did a lot of idea generation. I also went back to the un-named story I started months back, spewed some words onto paper.

Art exhibition opening the 5th August


So the Tshwaranang Legal Advocacy Centre, one of the Shukumisa partners, is hosting an art exhibition entitled "A Brick Wall: Rape and the Criminal Justice System, An Exhibition By The Tshwaranang Legal Advocacy Centre," which I'm promoting online. [image on the left courtesy of Tshwaranang Legal Avocacy Centre]

I also created an event on Facebook and invited some people to confirm their attendance. If you're based in Johannesburg, you're welcome to attend.

You can also blog about the event andthe issue if you want and I'll provide whatever additional information you need: did you know that out of every 100 rape incidents reported in South Africa, only 6 get a conviction?

Kinda scary.

Waiting for sex

On OneLove, there's a young who says he suspects his girlfriend, who take has refused to have sex with him because is a virgin, is having sex with someone else.

And I wanted to ask you, do you think people who want to wait until they are married should date ( as in casual boyfriend/girlfriend dating, not courtship with both parties committed towards marriage as the eventuality).

I'm making no religious judgements, but I'm just wondering if dating sorta creates expectations that there will be sex, and it's better not to get into that kind of situation in the first place if the only person you ever plan to have sex with is your husband or wife. What do you think?

Had a fabulous weekend!

Many thanks to the people who made the Saturday birthday party possible; especially those who held my hand because being a hostess always makes me nervous. It went very well, with old friends connecting and new friendships being formed. I didn't eat much of anything ( but then I never do because my stomach is tied in knots:-), but before I knew it, the luncheon had evolved into an evening full of laughter and storytelling.

And yeah, the group got lots of mileage out of that one, with one guest even calling her husband who is a TV producer to come sit at my table because she's found the kind of story he's been wanting to document.

Got lots of thoughful pressies too. I was touched that a new friend I made in the past couple of months actually noticed that I liked something ( while we were at a mall) and then gave it to me when I didn't buy it for myself. Gifts where people pay attention to your likes always feel extra special, don't they?

On Sunday I went to the Kensington Craft Market, where I connected with more friends and got some free soup ( because they knew it was my birthday and they were happy to celebrate with me all over again.)

So now today it's back to business, and of course, work is hectic as ever.

Enjoy the rest of your week.

Happy Friday!

Yesterday I had a late meeting in Braamfontein and by the time I came out of the building, it was already dark. I live in a quiet area, where there is hardly any movement in my street after dark, and sometimes I could almost forget I live in a busy city it's so quiet. So it was a refreshing change to see how vibey Braamfontein is at night.

People were out in the streets, chatting with friends, catching buses, walking up and down the streets. Car stopped, coughing out more happy and busy and harried people into the street. Whatever the city of Johannesburg did to revive that area, it worked.

I realise I was watching it almost from an outsider's view, and certainly, years back when I worked in Braamfontein crime was a big problem and I don't know if they managed to reduce it. Still, this city does have a new lease of life and I like it...[the image on the left is of the Nelson Mandela bridge at night, courtesy of Braamfontein.org.za]

My morning was taken up mostly by updating current sites and writing content for new sites. I now know more about web hosting solutions than I ever thought I wanted to know. Despite the rough subject matter I was writing about, I was relaxed because I didn't have meetings or a deadline to deliver today.

I was a tad annoyed by one of the newspaper articles I read for my work on the Shukumisa site. Reading the article, I felt as if the journalist infused the issue with as much skepticism as she could manage without actually calling the girl alleging that she was raped a liar. Maybe it's all in my head, who knows? But it bugged me!

On a happy note, on OneLove I have a short article on the issues that a couple should talk about before getting married. Things like, do you have the same expectations from the marriage, on being faithful to each other or on whether to have children?

The theory being, some people encounter problems in their marriages because they had differing expectations to start with, and it's hard enough to make a marriage work when you're both pulling in the same direction, never mind when you pull to different direction!

Enjoy your weekend!

Slow, Frustrating Internet

Internet was slow and frustrating. I had a hard time uploading images and even using Facebook and sending emails. So I spent most of the morning and later, part of the afternoon in meetings.

Felt very tired in the afternoon, ( probably due to frustration) so I spent the rest of the day reading documentation for an assignment.

i hope you had a better day.

A Bad Case Of Ebola Sounds Like A Good Prospect

During some research, I found Photoshare, a really nice site where I can access photos for client sites for free.

I'm also going to find out if my clients would like to contribute to the site. BTW, the photos are available for free, so if you're a professional photographer ( Natacha?), this site may not be appropriate for you in terms of expanding your market.

Still doing a lot of catching up, a lot of writing. But each day I get happier with the way the Shukumisa web site is taking shape. Now if only I could generate as much content for the corporate clients' web site refresh, I'd be a really happy camper.

My birthday is coming up on Sunday. Am going to spend Saturday hanging out with some friends. Feeling lazy, so we'll probably just braai meat and do some salads. I'm also a bit nervous. The friends don't all know each other, and some may even have had a fall out along the way, and I do better one on one, actually. But one friend has been nagging me to do something social, and I finally caved in. Huh! Do you think it's too late to cancel and tell them all that I have a very bad case of ebola?

I Choose To Believe In The Goodness of People

You know, I never realised how much our media coverage in South Africa is devoted to crime, and that a lot of it is rape or murder. Now that I've started working on the Shukumisa campaign and have Google alerts on the subject, it's kinda frightening to keep reading variations of the same story of violence and abuse.

The other day Fundi, the friend of a friend who's helping to organise me, asked me if the writing I do doesn't warp my view of life. Afterall, it can't be healthy to spend most of the morning reading, writing and/ publishing stories about violence, sexual abuse, cheating husbands and wives, HIV and AIDS, she said.

And no, I don't think the writing I do gives me a skewed view of life. Sometimes I do need distance, especially when I start a new project and I read a lot of research and stories and I'm confronted by the extent to which couples can find ways and means to hurt each other and how the legal system sometimes fails those victims of violence.

But deep down, I'm a romantic. I believe in the goodness of most people. This is a conscious decision that I have made to look for the good in people; not something I do because I'm stupid or naive or inexperienced or have been sheltered from the hardships of life, though God bless them, my family tried.

And when things do get overwhelming, sometimes I hang out with friends and family; people I have known and loved and trusted for years, and they remind me why I believe in people.

Or read a novel, where people face challenges and win, fall in love and actually manage to make the relationship work.

I also believe that we can all make a difference in some way; help our communities improve their lives; help make our communities better. When I see people volunteer to help their fellow-man, it reinforces my faith in people; reminds me that there are people who look for a thousand little ways to build and not to destroy.

[pic on the right: Kensington residents volunteer at St. Giles Association For The Disabled On Nelson Mandela Day. I was not able to make it, but I can still blog about it and commend those who took part that day.]

Writing, Investment Club, Work and Books

Since Friday last week, I've pushed quite a bit on the work front. So today's post is going to be a list, so I can quickly touch on the issues.

Sorry, there's less narrative on this:

1. I'm having a very busy, but productive day. This put me in a good mood.
2. On Saturday I met with a group of women I went to university with. I haven't seen some of them for years. It was great to reconnect with them. And yes, they still look the same. Older, but the same.
3. These women and I are starting an investment club. Basically we each deposit a lump sum of cash into an account. Part of it goes to a designated recipient, who can use it for a big project that would normally have required one to save for months, even more than a year. The rest of the money is put into a joint investment account. Good way to access finance without having to worry about interest rates.
4. Among the stories on OneLove, we're looking at the consequences of using sex to manipulate a partner. The story is told from a manipulated husband. My feeling reading his story was that he was furious. But he's not dealing with that. Instead he's exacting his own revenge. [Read the full story.]
5. Still on OneLove, I have posted a link to a story where Robert Mugabe has some interesting things to say about polygamy and being gay. Just the usual vitriol when it comes to gays. I find sad that a leader would fail to respect the human rights of a group of people. You don't have to condone what they do, or even agree with it, but what happened to live and let live, as long as the other party is not infringing on your own human rights?
6. There's a story of a sea cadet who committed suicide ( following a lot of sexual abuse on the job) which I missed when it broke out. But the funeral was on Saturday and I linked to that story on the Shukumisa web site. It's a very disturbing story, because it seems this young lady is not the only one who suffered sexual abuse from her superiors. And the alleged rapes were not restricted to females either.
   
7. Tiah, I checked with my web master and he says the site is live and we should have no access problems. So i'm not quite sure why you were not able to access the Shukumisa site. @everyone on Storypot - please let me know if you also tried to access the site and struggled. That will tell me whether the problem is universal and I need to push my web master some more, or not.
8. Many thanks to my friend Joan Masterson of Women At Work, who has volunteered to develop the READ SA web site. Your help is so appreciated, especially as I'm guessing it was the first time you heard about this cause when I asked:-)
9. I've finally arranged the info from the corporate client into a Google Docs spreadsheet and have logged all the info I have for the project. So now I can see my workplan more clearly. It's still a lot of work, but I feel better knowing having this sense of direction.
10. ITCH Magazine has published an interview with author Richard de Nooy. Check it out! Also, Richard also recently had a story entitled "And the Hippo?" published on BOOK SA. Here's the link to that story.

Question: What are some of the tasks you need to accomplish this week? What productivity tools have you found to be extremely useful in your line of work?

Have a great week.

Need input from you

The Shukumisa web site has taken shape and I now need input from you. I still need to do a lot of editing and proof-reading, activate content a couple of pages, ensure that the current blog posts can also be accessed from the main menu pages they are related to, and to load up more pictures and some partner logos.

But it's coming together now, and I need some constructive criticism. As ordinary web users, your views are valuable to me, so please check it out and tell me what you think.

And yes, I'm breathing a huge sigh of relief, now that I have a good sense of where this site is going.

Many thanks for your help!

Lots of Book News

I'm still busy doing a lot of writing and trying to catch up with admin work. Gosh I didn't really know how much admin was slipping through my fingers until Fundi came to help me. She's a friend of a friend.

Anyhoo, she has followed up with most of the people I hadn't spoken to in a while, and a lot of it looks like it will bring in new work. You might remember that I did a survey last year on "Reluctant Readers" for a client. Well, it looks like that project is still on the table. I'm also applying for a grant from ANFASA. If you have a non-fiction project, check out their website and download the application forms.

Deadline to submit application is the 1st October 2010. The Centre for the Book also tells me that they will soon be open for applications for the Community Publishing Project at the end of the month.

Watch that space! And if you have a fiction project, why dont you apply so that you can have some resources to see your project through. They support fiction and poetry projects.

I want to congratulate Rayne Auster for the launch of her latest book "Tapestry of Love," published by Dreamspinner Press.

Lastly, my conversations online continue. On OneLove we are talking about "How to keep your partner happy, even when you have been together for a long time." Many of you are married or in long term relationships. So I'm sure you have a lot of tips you could share with my readers. Please pop in to have a say.

On the Shukumisa Facebook page, we're talking about whether an educated woman is more or less likely to be involved in a violent sexual relationship. You can also take the time to listen to an audio tape on the subject.

That's it for now.

Have a great weekend.

I didn't watch some of the games; mostly because I ended up being too invested in the process and would find myself screaming " Score! Score! Damnit, score!" when a player had what seemed to be an oportunity and wasn't using it.

So I didn't see these goals enacted by Gogos For Mandela. But it looks like fun. And the commentary in the background gives the whole video a nice touch.




So enjoy the video, and if you have a credit card, please take 5 minutes to donate something? Or you could blog about these videos; ask your readers to donate something.

You can donate at http://46664donations.sandbag.uk.com/gogos

View the Gogos for Mandela channel at http://www.youtube.com/user/gogosformandela

I'm still in hibernation ( mostly), focussing on content writing and conceptualisation work for current projects, so please excuse the long silence on the blog.

The Shukumisa web site is coming along nicely. So now I'm mostly uploading content and making sure that the pages are ready to go live. I'll put the link here soon, so you have the chance to check out the site and make your own comments.

Meanwhile, on the Shukumisa Facebook page, we're currently talking about what happens to people who support victims and how we can create an enabling enviroment for them.

The topic arose out of a post by Victim Empowerment In South Africa.

OneLove remains my daily staple, as it has to be updated everyday ( unlike some of my sites that only need updating weekly). I haven't been publishing as much content as usual ( I generally put up 3 new articles daily), but I'm publishing daily at least.

Today on OneLove we're talking about why many couples choose to stop using condoms when they feel that the relationship is stable, and we're asking if this is a wise move, especially for couples who know that their partner is not faithful ( maybe he's married to someone else).

I'm still going to be rather quiet in the coming weeks, focussing mostly on the writing process. But I'll try to make sure to publish some news from home on a regular basis. I know that for some of you, this is the best way to keep track of me.. because if I'm writing and publishing, it means I'm not dead:-)

Guest Post: Knit A Doll For Charity

Hi my name is Sandra van Statten. Damaria is not available to blog today, and she has asked me to bring a wonderful cause to your attention.

I recently volunteered to knit some simple little dolls for an amazing organisation called Together to Grow Ministries. They include a little doll in each of the care packs they put together, which are then distributed to child rape victims at Karl Bremer Rape Unit in Cape Town.

It is a very sad state of affairs that they currently need approximately 150 dolls a month for this one hospital!

The dolls are very simple to knit and take no time at all and can easily be knitted with some scraps of wool that many knitters have lying around. The only special request is that the "hair" of the dolls is knitted with a fluffy / funky fur wool.

The reason for this is that these traumatised children are all greatly soothed or comforted by the soft feeling of the wool. The people who work with the children have reported that although they all are so very grateful for any of the dolls (and for many of the children this is the only doll they have) the fluffy haired dolls are the ones they love the best.

Unfortunately due to the current economic environment, Together to Grow Ministries is running out of money.

I have therefore decided to ask for either donations of wool so that volunteers can continue to knit the dolls, or alternatively if anyone would like to help by knitting a few dolls and mailing them to me, I would pass it all on to them. The pattern will be emailed to one who would like to help. Any help at all would be greatly appreciated.

My contact details are:
Tel: 082 9278171
Email: sandravs54@gmail.com

The contact details of Together to Grow Ministries are:
Website: http://www.togethertogrow.co.za
Telephone: 082 8781874
Contact: Venice Maurer

A Streak Of Good Fortune

My new housemate has finally moved in. As I mentioned, in addition to providing some company, one of my potential advantages of sharing my house with her is that I can try to adapt my schedule to hers.

She works in TV and leaves the house at 3am. So far, I haven't been able to wake up when she leaves though. I've simply become aware of her activities and then gone back to sleep. But I am determined to wake up earlier though ... I used to be happier and more productive back in the days when I woke up at 4am. The day was so much less stressful.

More good news is that, for the first time ever, I actually won something. I entered a competition run by one of my favourite authors on her blog, and to my suprise, I won a copy of her latest novel/ebook. The best part was that she emailed it immediately. That made the weekend even nicer.

Other than that very welcome streak of good fortune, life has been very normal this side. I'm writimg as much as I can ( Still feel like the words are not comng fast enough) and updating sites.

On OneLove, we're talking about why people pay for sex.

I've also published a number of interesting articles on the Shukumisa Facebook page. An interesting issue for me, as an online writer, is the obligation that online publishers have to respect the laws of other countries ( outside of where they live).

I raise this issue because recently, an online publisher disclosed the name of a rape suspect in an article. As the publication is online, basically every South African who has Internet access and comes across the article can find out the details of this rape accused, and republish the article online, giving this accused a reputation as a rapist long before the courts find him guilty/innocent. As a blogger, what does this development mean for you?

On READ SA, we're still talking about the name the book character you admire greatly, and maybe even wished you were him/her when you were young, or wanted to model your life around him. Why did you respect/admire this character so much?

This week I was in Braamfontein to see a client, and after the meeting, I decided to pop into a bookstore in their building. Bought "The Heritage of Shannara" by Terry Brooks [the complete story in one volume, contain book 1 - book 4]. Paid R60 for it. Nice deal, hey?

The volume is made up of:

• The Scions of Shannara
• The Druid of Shannara
• The Elf Queen of Shannara
• The Talismans of Shannara

It’s the perfect gift for my younger sister, who reads a lot of fantasy and loves Terry Brooks. Now let’s hope she doesn’t get into her head to read my blog or she’ll get a clue of what I’m putting into her Christmas goodie bag:-)

Here are some of the issues I’m reading/writing/talking about today:

OneLove – Is paying for sex considered cheating?

Read SA – What's your favourite opening line/paragraph in a novel?

Shukumisa - A special group of actors are causing a stir on local metrorail trains with a series of skits relating to social issues.

Presented by the National Working Group on Sexual Offences, the Shukumisa campaign aims to call the system and civil society into account with regards to sexual violence.

View the new 3-minute video filmed by The Mail & Guardian and published this week.

And I leave you with Atumwi, a Malawian band. Tell me what you think of them? A contact of mine promised to send me the lyrics - I like the sound, but have no idea what they're actually saying.