Book Contract; Day 6 of 16 Days Campaign

The book contract from the publisher finally arrived. Yay! I've been looking forward to this moment for so long. Yet, this is also the beginning of a long frustrating time when I expect I'll work harder than I've ever had to, and maybe even wonder why I ever wanted to write a book in the first place. The contracted book is non-fiction and part of a series. The publisher is small and international.

Meanwhile, our blog party continues on Shukumisa.

Here are the blog posts for the day:

1. Pamela Moeng talks about the fact that sometimes the abuser blames the victim in her post, "Look What You Made Me Do!"
2. Ruth Israel says you could change a girl's life in "Nurturing a Parentless Generation"
3. I have a guest post on Riehl Life, talking about 'Reclaiming our pride" as South Africans.
4. Moira Richards continues her series, this time talking about "honour killings."
If you missed some of Moira's posts, you can read them here:
Day 1
Day 2
Day 3
Day 4
Day 5

Admin Issues & 16 Days Posts

Spent most of the day doing admin related tasks, which I don't like so much. The business banking consultant at the First National Bank branch near me was very efficient, patient and friendly. Sorted out most of the banking issues I had and the only outstanding problem is something that is outside her province.

It was nice to feel that a bank, which I normally see it as a disinterested bureacracy, is making an effort to treat its customers as individuals. Or least, thing consultant did. My only complaint, and it is a big one, is that the online banking service centre makes you wait for ages if you call then. Even if the call is being made by a banking employee. Having to hold for close to 20 minutes is not good use of one's time.

Day 5: 16 Days of Activism

Meanwhile, here are today's posts for the blog party for 16 Days of Activism Against Gender violence:

1. School Sexual Bullying - Where do we begin by Jennifer Thorpe

2. Revenge Attacks by Moira Richards


3. The Female Role in Violence against Females & Children by Corinna Turner

Take part in a chat event

Also note that Gaynor Paynter and Alison Fourie, founders of TAVASA will host a chat event on their blog at on the 01 December, at 15:00 - 16:00. The aim of the chat event is to talk to women who may be in abusive relationships, or maybe just women who want financial independence, about how to start a virtual assistant/transcription business. Nope, they're not going to try to sell anyone anything:-)

They just want to help, offer women who feel trapped by circumstance an option they can use to fight for their financial independence, which may contribute towards freedom from an abusive relationship.

Register for the chat event.

And please keep the posts coming. The more ordinary men and women have a say on this issue, the better.

Telling Secrets: Time for Civil Disobedience?

I think it may well be time to begin to move 'awareness activism' like these annual 16 Day Campaigns into daily, local supportive mechanisms for actions of civil disobedience in places where these obscene acts of gender violence are occurring, says Elizabeth Kaeton in her post, Telling Secrets: Time for Civil Disobedience?

Indeed, I intend to bring up that very issue with the organizers of the 16 Day Campaign. It's going to take sustained, world-wide pressure to change cultural attitudes about women and girl children that are deeply ingrained and embedded in the psyche of many countries.

Elizabeth was reflecting on the 16 Days of Activism, the Rape of a school girl at Jules High, and an editorial by Zackie Achmat, of the Center for Law and Social Justice, which appeared in the Mail and Guardian on the rape.

Read the full post.

The Blog Party Rocked!

The launch of the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence blog party went very well yesterday. More contributions from bloggers came in, as you can see by the sheer number of my Day 2: 16 Days Of Activism Against Gender Violence post on the Shukumisa web site. Please take the time to visit the blogs of the various contributors and read their posts.

Many individuals share their life stories and their take on this issue of gender violence, and you will find that what they are talking about is real life, not campaigning and sloganeering. They, more than anything, help to put real people's faces onto this issue and show us why we should care.

If you feel that you still have something to say about gender violence, feel free to send me a link to your post at damariasenne@gmail.com.  Also specify which date you prefer your post to be published/highlighted on the Shukumisa web site.

The wonderful, but completely unexpected outcome from the blog party is that I had two media enquiries. One was from a national newspaper and the other from a regional radio station. So clients are also happy that we did this blog party thing.

I also got a recommendation to do social media for a new client. Many thanks to T for recommending me to her client. I appreciate it muchly.

Blog Party: 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence

Today marks the first day of the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence, a global event which takes place from the 25 November to 10 December. And I must say it’s been a very interesting time for me. It has also been a very humbling experience.

Many thanks to all the contributors who made this online dialogue a success. I’ve stopped counting the number of organisations and individual contributors, but on average, I expect to publish at least 5 new posts for the duration of the blog party. And yes, there is still time for you to participate. Email the link to your post to damariasenne@gmail.com  


What is the 16 Days campaign about?

I like the way writer Moira Richards takes us back to the history of the campaign. She says: “In 1981, November 25 was marked as International Day against Violence against Women. The world adopted the White Ribbon as symbol that violence against women is just not acceptable and since 1991, the commemoration has been extended into the 16 Days of Activism against Gender Violence – to draw the world's attention to the fact that women's rights are basic human rights. Read the full post.

Sounds nice, but who needs another campaign?

Anonymous tells a very heartbreaking story of how the South African criminal justice system and the 16 Days campaign have failed her.

She says: “The slogans seem the same, the new songs that you hear only once off, the promises, it’s all the same but it’s all in vain. Men still beat their partners, there is still a large number of violence, rape cases, and statutory rapes that go unreported or are reported but the perpetrators are free.” The the full post.

Lisa Vetten, director of Tshwaranang Legal Advocacy Centre, acknowledges the bitter truth of Anonymous’s story. She says: “Particular thresholds have been established to create a hierarchy of horror, with only the most brutal of acts attracting attention and rendering the less savage ordinary in comparison. Focusing on the all-too common failures of the criminal justice system also leaves people helpless and thinking there is nothing they can do about abuse.” Lisa also offers practical advice on what we can all do to make a difference, so that 16 Days lives up to our communities’ expectations and needs. Read her article here.
Making a difference

WomensNet also highlights the fact that ‘Abused Women need more protection.” Find out why and how.

Talk about it

As I've previously mentioned, I’m currently working with Shukumisa, a national campaign which aims to get South Africans talking about violence against women and children, and specifically, about rape. Shukumisa is run by more than 26 NGOs. Here are some of their activities during the 16 Days campaign:
The Thinking Forum: The Mail & Guardian hosted a panel discussion yesterday, asking “Gender Violence: Is The Media Part Of The Problem Or Part Of The Solution?” What do you think?

In her article entitled ‘Who To Blame,”  Sarah Haken, a researcher at the Tshwaranang Legal Advocacy Centre, uses the example of the media’s handling of the Jules High School alleged rape incident to show that the media is part of the problem.

Do you agree with her? Who do you think is to blame for our children being more sexually active too early, for incidents such as happened at Jules High School?

The association for Transcriptionists and Virtual Assistants of South Africa (TAVASA) is also planning an online chat on the 1 December, from 15h00 - 16h00. Basically, members are going to talk about the challenges that women face when they are involved in an abusive relationship ( especially when they rely on their partner to support them and their children) and how starting a business online can be an important step in getting out of the abusive relationship.

Take action


Stop the bus campaign in 2009

 The 16 Days campaign, however, is not just about talk and blame. Which is why a number of Shukumisa partners are visiting communities and doing practical things that can help alleviate some of the issues associated with getting help for gender violence.

For example,  Rape Crisis Cape Town is sending two busses to travel through the Western Cape, carrying volunteer trainers, community activists and counselors, who will conduct workshops, hold networking meetings, do door to door visits, train and counsel community members. This is part of the organisation's annual Stop the bus campaign.

The Women on Farms Project is also sending field officers to visit communities it serves to distribute educational materials and hold workshops as part of their 16 Days plan of action.

And don't forget - you too can make a difference.

More posts coming in the coming days. Check out the Shukumisa web site for our comprehensive, up-to-date coverage of the 16 Days campaign.

I Couldn't Wait For 2010 To End!

2010 was not a very good year for me. I'd had to let Baby go at the end of 2009 and somehow I felt like I was bleeding internally all the time. After a while, I put plaster on the wound and decided to get on with things. But frankly, I had a hard time summoning much enthusiasm for anything, even things that I used to enjoy doing. And I think it showed, though most people who know me well didn't actually call me on it.

The months went by, and sometimes I looked at the big house and garden that was intended to be a family home, and was tempted to sell and move into a townhouse or something. I even considered changing cities or travelling with no particular destination in mind. Afterall, what was the point of having a home that can house a family of four and grandma in her own cottage, and have an outside office, for just one person? Eventually I decided this is home. I may still travel, but this place remains my base.

A number of work-related relationships also ended along the way. Some of it was good - I needed to try new things, move on in my new life. This resulted in my having greater flexibility and I no longer have to live in any one particular location to be able to service my client base. Some of it was no so good, especially when the relationships were previously lucrative and were my security blanket.

I learnt something though in 2010: if you do the best you can under less than ideal circumstances, and refuse to give up, eventually things will get better. It won't be miraculous. Chances are, there will be small daily improvements until one day you realise that actually, the big problem that you used to face no longer exists in its old form. And you'll realise that you're stronger and more resilient than you ever thought you were.

Anyhoo, I used to say I couldn't wait for 2010 to end, because it was the year I felt I should have stayed in bed. But I've changed my mind: 2010 was the year I grew in unexpected ways, and heralded new pathways in my life journey. And I plan to continue the learning well into 2011.

So how was 2010 for you? What was the best thing about this year? What was the worst that happened this year? What do you want from 2011?

P.S. Many thanks to all of you who have sent me posts for the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence blog party.  It's wonderful that you're adding your voice to this global conversation.

Blog Party Reminder

Our blog party starts this week, on the 25th November and lasts until the 10 October, and I'd like to remind you to start blogging sending me links to your posts, so I can schedule them. As you might remember, we're hosting this event to commemorate 16 Days Of Activism Against Gender Violence, which is a global event.

Your Readiness For Festive Season

How ready are you for the festive season? Have you started buying gifts and sending cards? Are you wrapping up work now and getting ready to party? Got an email from a blogging friend this morning asking for my address so she can send a card. A proper Christmas card, not those virtual jingly things we all send!

Must say I wa impressed. She's getting organised early and she's actually going to send her friends and loved ones real cards. He!

Do Our Media Reflect The World As It Is?

Do you sometimes read newspapers/watch the news and then wonder if the world is as bleak as the news featured would lead you to think? Do our media really reflect the world as it is?

I had to wonder this morning, because somehow the headlines seemed more sinister this morning. It was like there was no good thing that happened that was worth reporting.

I think part of my issue arose from coverage in Sowetan. On the cover page is a story of a woman who tells of her date with a serial rapist (man facing 21 charges of rape and still counting).  Main story on page 2 was about a security guard who killed his girlfriend and bystander at a high school and then himself. "She[the woman] tripped and fell and the gunman shot her severalk times while she lay on the floor. He kicked her on the ribs to make sure she was dead before shooting himself in the head," the paper quotes one of the witnesses.
Main stories on page 4 were about:
1. Woman who dated serial rapist continued
2. Main story on serial rapist
3. How chief's wife was raped, killed
4. Men who raped a doctor at the hospital denied bail
5. Trial of alleged Lenasia serial killer and rapist starts today

By the time I got through page 4, I was feeling a bit down.

I also want to remind you of the blog party we're having during the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence.  The campaign takes place on the 24 November to 10 December. Please diarise the dates if you're planning to blog about gender violence during that period, and don't forget to let me know ( and to send me the link), so I can highlight your post on Storypot, Shukumisa web site and several related web sites and blogs.

Next Time I'm Going To Say NO

So. On Thursday a client asked me to take on an emergency project, with delivery by end of business on Friday. I assessed the work, and let her know expectations were unrealitic. Suggested an extension. But the situation was so desperate and the work really had to be delivered on Friday, they said.
I said fine, I'll try, but I doubt it can be done.
As is usually the case with things like that, of course things went wrong. I got another charger (I mentioned previously that my charger packed up?), but my laptop kept acting up, turning itself off at the damndest of times. I'm now convinced the fan system is also packing up ( and ja, it is old). Bottomline is, work was slow....
On Friday morning I emailed client again, saying, "WE NEED AN EXTENSION! End of business today is not gonna happen."
Big boss of my direct liaison got ugly and cast aspersions on my professionalism. Demanded that I deliver on Friday evening or else.
Did I mention that this was a big project that would realistically take about 4 days? Anyhoo, I brought in someone else to help me, and we worked full days on Saturday and Sunday. We're only wrapping up things now. And I'm tired, cranky and wondering why I punished myself like this.
In retrospect, I should have said "No" to the assignment, no matter how much I like my liaison and  the fact that Christmas is coming and every extra Rand helps. It was way too stressful, and I allowed someone to dump their self-created problems on me, and then make out like I was the one at fault.
So, I'm resolving to learn how to set realistic deadlines for myself and my clients.  And next time another client asks for the impossible, I'm going to have to take a deep breath, still the panic in my heart ( for refusing money on the table) and say "NO."

You Get What You Pay For

Some months ago I was very excited about buying a universal adaptor el cheapo. Well, it seems that I was due for the harsh lesson that we all know but choose to ignore when someone tells us we can get what we want as a bargain: you get what you pay for.

The short story being, about two months after I bought the adaptor, it's not working. I took it to the computer place, wanting a replacement. But it only had a month's guarantee :-(. So he's taking it in to be fixed and says I'll get it back Wednesday next week.

I do have a PC to work on, but I have no access to most of the files I was working on ( as mine is a small business, I don't have a serverand I back up weekly). And that is affecting ongoing projects, especially the ones where I'd already drafted the article and just needed to finish. In some case, it means a complete rewrite. So glad I use gmail as my default address, as it allows me to access my emails seamlessly.

I think I should also keep this lesson in mind when I'm dealing with potential clients who try to negotiate my prices down to ridiculous levels, especially the ones who mention ( oh so in passing) that some other company they got a quote from charges a fraction of what I'm quoting: you get what you pay for. That service provider you think is cheap - is he operating on a shoestring budget to try to keep to the prices you demand? And how long do you think he/she will be able to stay in business, if his/her revenues are cut to the bone?

Your thoughts on the issue of price? Are you wary of vendors who sell you stuff are very low/ridiculous prices? Do you wonder if they'll be there tomorrow to provide aftercare service if your gadget broke?

Why I Hate Waiting At Cape Town Airport & Other Travel Adventures

The headline pretty much says it: I hate waiting for the plane at Cape Town Airport. And the reason is that they don't have accessible electrical sockets in the airport lounges, which means that if you are a mobile worker who prefers to use waiting time to catch up with work, you get stuck right quickly.

I know that laptops have batteries, but most don't have much of a life. Anyhoo, yesterday I got to CT  airport about 2 hours before my departure time back to Joburg. Check in was very quick - no crowds and I didn't have luggage. And hour and half later, after bugging the information desk ( they couldn't help) wandering to the airport lounge, which didn't seem to be quite what I was looking for, I was deep in conversation with a businessman who was also travelling to Joburg.

We agreed going to Mugg & Bean was a viable solution for me. God bless Mugg & Bean, I can always count on them to provide me with space to work and drink endless mugs of tea regardless of which city, town or suburb I'm at. But by then, the issue was no longer about my own convenience, but blowing it way out of proportion to encompass the needs of every business traveller that goes through that airport.
Why in heaven's name are they not making it eaier for them to stay connected? What aggravated me even more is that the airport was recently upgraded, and I know I'm raving about a small little thing that means nothing in the great scheme of things.

But my new friend made a very illuminating point ( excuse the pun:-). The need for power sockets at the airport is not just a necessity for business people wanting to spend quality time with their laptops while they wait. Most people  carry cellphones. And sometimes we run out of battery life at critical moments. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to charge your phone quickly, so you can continue calling friends and family and colleagues while still at the airport.

And yes, I did see the lone sockets at the toilet entrances. Do they really expect people to stand at toilet entrances to charge laptops and cellphones?

In other news, the business  end of the trip went well. No sight-seeing or anything, but the presentation went well and client was happy. Hopefully, more work will come out of this trip to launch 2011 with a bang.

Busy and Productive Morning

I'm in and out of Cape Town tomorrow. So today is busy, but in a good way. I was able to polish the presentation I'm doing tomorrow, and send a copy to all involved; finished an assignment ( I love the invoicing part:-) and prepared for another interview for later this evening.

My 21-year old niece is visiting, and I felt bad working instead of entertaining her, so I set aside some time for her for later in the afternoon too. Except, I'm not quite sure what to do with her. This is the first time that she has visited me alone, and we're sorta getting to know each other.

She tells me she loves fashion and that's what she's going to study at university, with the idea of becoming a fashion designer and owning a boutique. So I'm probably going to take her to see some boutiques. Did I mention I don't really like shopping? The things we do for family.

I Never Thought I'd Get Irritable About Having To Learn To Use Tools

All you had to do was type and make sure copy was clean

Okay. Let me start by admitting that I'm feeling grumpy, and will probably change my mind about lots of stuff I'm going to say on this post. But right this minute? I miss the good old days, when, as a writer, all I had to do was write copy and then email it in. It had to go in as a Word document, unformatted. All I had to do is write the piece, make sure my name and contact details were on it and it was gone.

Of course, this was not a good way to for publishers and editors to project manage their incoming submissions. But that was not my problem as a writer, was it?

Of course, the recipients had to sort out the mess!

Then we all decided to make working easier, faster, smarter... and started creating little software programmes that could help manage the various tasks that we have to do on a daily basis. We even made lots that took over the "send document" function, going beyond just emailing the damned things.

Want to make your twitter use more efficient? Get tweetdeck. Have work teams spread out over various locations? Implement a web-based project management system. Better yet, use Google tools like gmail, Google Docs etc. Want publish your link in lots of web portals without having to individually visit each site? Use Imautomator.

And it worked. For a while there, I was feeling quite happy to install tools that would make my work life easier.

Then this morning, I needed to sent 8 Word files to a client, and I realised that I had to use their project management system. And it's easy enough to use. But somehow, my spirit balked. It felt like too much work.
And another client I sent some info to yesterday emailed me to remind me that the project uses Dropbox. Basically, you install the small software programme (it's online), accept the invitation and you're taken to a project management system much like Google docs. The only difference is that when you send in material, you don't actually have to go online.

You save your files in your Dropbox folder in your computer, and the programme synchronises your documents with the online facility so your files are automatically stored there to be accessed by people you share documents with. Nifty programme, actually. But this morning? The two programmes were the straw that broke the camel's back.

What was my point again? Oh yes! What I wanted to say is that, there is no doubt that these management systems help project teams more efficiently, in a more uniform manner, making information management easier for the company. But when you are a service provider like me, working on different projects with different systems, life gets a bit complicated, because sometimes you have to learn as many systems as you have clients. And that gets pretty old....FAST!

What Do You Actually Do?

Some time ago Naomi Dunford at Ittybiz challenged her readers to answer the question: "What do you actually do?" I meant to do the post at the time, but something else happened and I blogged about it and never got round to answering Naomi's question.

So today I decided to do the quiz:

What’s your game? What do you do?


I thought you it was very clear that I'm a writer. Says just that on the masthead of my blog  :-). But then I realised that I need to clarify: I'm a writer for hire. That means I write content for other people, be it articles, press releases, blog posts, case studies, web content etc.

I'm also developing products that I plan to sell directly to my customers. Still trying to wrap my mind around how I will get that done. In the long term, I want to write more books that get published by other publishers ( and earn royalties) and that I self-publish ( and make nice big profits. LOL!)

And when business is slow, I transcribe/translate audio Setswana interviews for companies (insurance companies dealing with legal claims, researchers doing programme evaluations etc). It's a good way to keep practicing my Setswana and paid doing it.


Why do you do it? Do you love it, or do you just have one of those creepy knacks?

I write because  I love it. It's an ongoing passion I've had since I understood what books were and that there were people out there who write them. I've done other things - been a waitress, TV presenter, literacy tutor, account executive, communications manager... but writing makes me most content, even when I face life or career challenge.

As for creepy knacks, mine is to connect people. Say A tells me she's starting a farm to grow flowers like lavendar etc for an essential oil extracts business. My first thought is, "you should meet B! I met her at a fair and she sells beauty products wholesale to hotels in SA and other countries, and she mentioned in passing that needs wants to get into the farming end of the business so she can produce her own material." I don't know how to use that knack to make money though...or if it's even a business option.

Who are your customers? What kind of people would need or want what you offer?

For the writing? Companies, large and small, which need marketing and promotional material developed. Communications /PR agencies needing writers to generate copy for their clients. NGOs that have a campaign message they want to spread to society. Writers who have overflow work and are able to sub-contract their work. Government departments that are still trying to come to grips social media and need someone to update their web site, blog for them and create Facebook, Twitter and Ning pages for them. Individuals who have a story to tell but need someone to help them with the craft end of the writing process.


What’s your marketing USP? Why should I buy from you instead of the other losers?

I bring my skill and experience as a communications professional, so I don't just write the words, I make sure that the material fits in with your communications plan. And I'm happy to teach you or your staff what I do, so you're not stuck with an expensive "consultant" more than you can help. This is usually a very good thing for small business owners and NGOs who have very limited budgets. Funny thing about helping my clients get emancipated though....  they brag to their business associates about what they learnt, which brings in more recommendations for my business.


What’s next for you? What’s the big plan?

I've finally registered my company, Damaria Senne Media, so I'm no longer a sole proprietor. I've hired an administrator to help with the day to day running of the business, so I can focus on two things: getting more clients ( and therefore doing more writing),developing book projects and launching my own products.

P.S.  Do the quiz too. This post helped me clarify some things in my own mind, so I learnt some new things about myelf and what I want to do too.

Writings Included In Another Book

Looks like I'm on a lucky streak: another piece of my scribblings is to be included in a book.

Years ago I contributed a couple of posts to a blog called the Fine Art Of Blogging. Basically, the owner was asking people why they blog, what they blog about, how they blog, what lessons they've learnt from the process.

At the time, I was becoming more comfortable with blogging, though I still wouldn't have said that I love it. Anyhoo, Mohamed ( the owner) is compiling a book from those posts and he says he has selected one of my posts for inclusion.

As Po would say, naaice!

P.S. The invitation to submit posts to the blog is still standing, so if you want to talk about your blogging process, check the blog out and then send in your submission.

How Do You Feel About....

Sex work/sex workers?
Do you see them as:
1. People who've had bad breaks in life and need your support
2. A segment of society you don't really want to deal with, as long as they don't bug you.
3. People who made bad life choices and should do something positive to fix it.
4. Completely disgusting/immoral/dirty.
5. Indifferent. Sex work is a job like any other.
6. Don't want to talk about it.

The reason I ask is that  Sally-Jean Shackleton from SWEAT, an organisation that lobbies and advocates for the decriminalisation of adult sex work in South Africa sent me a message on Facebook, asking me to ask my online friends to join their group as members.  And I got curious about what you think about sex work and sex workers. So tell me....

What Would You Do

If you realised that a friend of yours was self-destructing? Maybe drinking too much ( enough to get alcohol poisoning one of these days) or meeting shady characters in dives you tend to drive a little faster when you go past or using drugs or having unprotected  sex with anything that has a pulse without condoms or staying in an abusive relationship.

You've already tried talking to him/ and giving unsolicited advice and he nodded his head, told you how wise you are and continued with the self-destructive behaviour.

Would you:

1. Initiate an intervention with his family
2. Do nothing ( this person is an adult and interfering always gets messy. And who needs the trouble, when your own life has its own challenges anyway?)
3. Tell your friend's family what he's up to, so they can decide what to do ( or not do) to help
4. Do something else I didn't think of when giving the above choices - Please explain  what that omething else would be